Dr. Evil did not show. In fact, it was Dr. Mann...the younger. Full head of hair and no air quotes. Definitely not Dr. Evil. Which is good, 'cuz really I probably would have chickened out if any of Mike Myers personas would have walked into my surgical suite.
Funny, that you can go for 25 years seeing one way, then 10 minutes, 2 lasers and an obscene amount of pressure in a left eye that didn't want to numb, and voila....20/40 immediately after surgery.
Keep in mind, before surgery, I was worse than 20/400. What's that like, you lucky, perfect-eyed, non-myopic friends ask? Check out this link for a descent simulation.
Honestly, I was a little worse than this simulation. The outlines of the people are way too defined.
By 2 days post-op, I was 20/20. 20/20!!!!
A few weeks out now, and I'm realizing that there is a good and a bad to this high-priced miracle.
First, the good.
1. When thumb-sucking toddlers who physically place all germs directly into their oral cavity for ingestion wander into my room at 2 am coughing and mucousing (Real word, in Shelly-land), I don't have to put my glasses on to determine the color of the mucous or redness of their febrile skin.
2. When I am awakened by loud, suspicious, frightening sounds at 5am on Saturday morning, the kind that result in springing from the bed in fear, I don't have to squint or flail my arms about to find the culprit (Why, oh, why are you awake?)
3. Jason can no longer amuse himself by moving my glasses 12 inches from their designated spot. Pathetic, I know, but for 13 years he has found this activity unbelievably humorous.
And the bad....
1. When I'm really tired at night, I can't buy myself another hour by taking my contacts out.
2. When I'm really tired at night, I go back and forth to the bathroom 10 + times habitually attempting to take my contacts out.
3. I live in fear that one night, then I'm really tired, I'll forget that I don't wear contacts anymore and pull my corneas from my eyes.
I am improving as I have only found myself in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, wondering why I'm here 3 times tonight, so far, and my corneas are still firmly in place.
I think I'll go to bed now, just to avoid any mishaps....