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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Facing Facebook....

I am uncool. I have maintained a pronounced and emphatic aversion and avoidance of social networking sites like Tagged, MySpace, Facebook, etc. Why, you ask? Ghosts. Those people who I knew once but don't now...for a reason. Random people who suddenly want to be my "friend" in cyberspace, people I barely know, people I barely knew, people I don't care to connect with again. I am really selective of my friends. I'm picky about who I associate with on a regular basis, I am even pickier about who I make lasting associations with. You know, the people who move and for whom you way "aloha" instead of "goodbye." I like that control over who's in and who's out. Those random past ghosts----I want them out. I have not need or desire to suddenly reconnect. But...could I reject those ghosts? Would I? Would I accept their cyberfriendship just to be nice?

But, alas, I am at times am not diligent at keeping the contacts I want desperately to keep. Distance takes it's effect, and before you know it emails and phone numbers change and people are lost.

So......A good friend I from work was recently deployed to Iraq. It was quite sudden - about 4 weeks notice. He told us all that Facebook was the easiest way to stay connected to him. Facebook.....I shuddered. Not email? Blogging? No, Facebook. ... Shudder.......So, I give in. I sign up for Facebook.

Days later, "So and So Wants to be your friend." Hm....I want to be theirs, too. One long evening with a fussy baby and some one handed typing and I start to search for some of those possible "aloha" friends. Curious really. I found a few. At first, I didn't ask to be their friend. Was I one of their ghosts? What I their "goodbye" or their "aloha?" Would they ignore me, reject me for having lost contact? Would they accept my "cyberfriendship" but only to not "cyber-reject" me?

Then, I found her. ALOOOOOOHA!!!! I cried when she moved. I still secretly make plans for our children to marry. Why did I lose touch? A little while after she moved life took a flurried tailspin. I barely coped. I introverted. But there she was. Aloha!

I waited waited 24 hours then decided I had to do it. I asked to be her "Cyber-friend." She accepted....then she said aloha......

I am now starting to hear from those ghosts. The ones that I have to ask Jason who they are; the ones that I pretend I didn't hear from; the ones who were by goodbyes. But I can joyfully face Facebook now, because I found my aloha.


Sam and Bria said...

I loved this post. I totally relate since I just joined facebook a few months ago after heavy pressure from my family. Good luck!

Bill and Mel said...

Oh, it's too true. I had an ex-boyfriend find me on facebook. . . 'nuf said. :)

Glad you found your good friend though. That's really neat.