When Mom-Gut and Medical-Brain Collide....

It started almost 3 weeks ago. The kids started passing around a cold virus. Snot, Hack, Crank...you know the drill. Kid 1 and Kid 2 kicked it, no problem. Go immune system. Kid 3---she flailed about in our bed every night hacking, flopping, snotting, head-butting, whining, wailing, hacking, flopping, hacking.... She could not kick it. Booooo immune system.

Saturday, she gets the ultimatum. "You have until Monday to be better, or you're going to the pediatrician." She coughed at my threat.

Sunday, worse. Much worse. Couldn't stop coughing. Wouldn't eat. Only sipped juice. Flopped on daddy. Learned new word "Ucky!"

Now, I work in medicine. I like to think that I know a good deal about medicine. (I'm sure my patients like to think that, too.) One thing I know I know and know well is this---viral colds do not last more the 14 days. If it's over 14 days---get checked out. There is a secondary infection there somewhere.

So when Jason takes little Lyssi to the clinic, getting worse, after almost 3 weeks of this, I expected a diagnosis indicating location of said infection and antibiotics. What I got was, "Backup doctor said it's just a virus. She'll get over it."

Virus? Did you tell her how long it's lasted? How she has gotten much worse with new symptoms in the last 36 hours? How bad the cough has been the last 36 hours. How much water we used creating our own personal steam room last night? How I haven't slept well in 3 weeks? How much snot is on my pajamas? and Pillow?

Then I got the mini-lecture. "Honey, you're not the practitioner here. You're the mom. You told me to take her in" Yeah, but my mom-gut is talking to my medical-brain and they both know this is not right.

So, medical-brain resumes work. Then received call from Dad. "She's napped for hours." More work. More calls. "She feels warm but her temp is normal." More work. More calls. "Her temp just spiked to 102.7 under her arm, what do you think?"

Bam! Ka-pow!!!!! Mom-gut and Medical-Brain just got together and they both want an appointment at after hours. TONIGHT!

Nice Doctor listens to Mom-Gut's concerns and then to Medical-Brain saying, "Really, I'm not demanding an antibiotics. Just a second opinion."

Nice Doctor agrees with Mom-Gut and tells Medical-Brain he would have done the same thing with his kids. (He's possibly my new backup doctor. The charmer.)

He probes. He prods. He peeks. He peruses. He says everything looks and sounds pretty ok (Boooooo!), but let's start with a chest xray just to be sure, then maybe some lab work.

Droopy toddler didn't care what the big scary looking machines were doing. She stood, she breathed, she layed, and we got to "see her stuff," per Carsten.

The doctor's official read of said xray: Schmutzy Lung
Medical-Brain agreed: Left lower Schmutz

No blatant anything. Just Schmutz....on the left.

Official Diagnosis: Rapidly developing pneumonia with probable sinusitis.

2 doses of Miraculous High Dose Pink stuff later -- no fever and playing for the first time in weeks. (Let's all now shout PRAISE for the pink stuff!)

Moral of story: Occasionally Mom and Practitioner must meet. Or collide. Whatever. Just as long as the prescription written.

Blah, Blah, Blah...

I fell blah. Not sad, not happy, in the middle.

It's really bugging me. I'm not a middle-ground kind of girl.

If I'm going to be sad, bring on the tears. If I'm going to be happy, hand me the chapstick. But, blah....just not my thing.

So tonight, in the middle of paying bills, balancing checkbooks and listening to this cathartic song, I wrote down 5 things that made me smile today. Quickly. As in, I didn't really think about it, I just wrote them down....in the margins of the cell phone bill.

Here we go.... (with a little explanation)

1. Frustrated Alyssa -- She sucks her thumb and has started wanting to sleep on top of stuffed animals. Yes, on top of them. She currently had 3 favorites that she must figure out how to shove under her body prior to inserting thumb, accepting blankie placement and settling down to sleep. 2 of the favorites are about as big as she is. It's hysterical watching her figure it out.

2. Sneaking nephew -- Like something off of Looney Toons. Arms in short-arm T-Rex pose, knees bent, hunchback up, on tip-toes.

3. Out of breath guy -- He was on a bike pulling a bike trailer. He'd probably been far and worked hard but I giggled. Very wrong of me. Bad Shelly.

4. Sleeping kids -- I took Alyssa and my 2 nephews to the splash park today for play group (Thanks Christa!) On the way to the car, they kept protesting the mere suggestion of a nap. They were all asleep before I pulled out of the parking lot.

5. Pancakes -- I love breakfast food. I love eating breakfast food for dinner. I love making my family breakfast food for dinner. I love that my kids love eating breakfast food for dinner and that Jason tolerates it.

So now I feel less blah, but still blah, but it's less, so that's better.

Insomnia (Only Partially Voluntary)

I'm tired. Very tired. I am by the end of most days, but yet I still stay up late.

"Why don't I just go to bed?"

Here is why:
1. I can do whatever I want to.....read, plan, waste time on the computer, stare at
the ceiling....and no one is going to interrupt.
2. Because sometimes tomorrow is so busy, I don't want it to come and going to sleep
seems to be giving in, declaring that today is over, bringing tomorrow that much faster.
3. My brain has not stopped yet, therefore lying in bed would be pointless.
4. In our apartment, if you leave the door open to the kids room, you can usually see all
three kids, peacefully asleep from the couch. So beautiful. It makes my heart feel like
it's going to explode and melt at the same time. It's the only time of day they all hold
still long enough for me to just gaze at them.
4. Sshhhh....hear that? Yeah, I don't hear anything either.......Peace.......Aahhhhhhh.......

I know that in the morning I'll regret it. I know that the dark circles are becoming permanent and the concealer is not working as well anymore. I know it will take twice as long to drag myself out of bed to the gym (if I make it to the gym in the morning at all....)

But for right now....

Toddler Tantrums....

It's official. We have a toddler. If there was any doubt, it was removed this week. Evidence?

1. The constant squeal of "No!!!" More like "NNNNNo!"
2. I never have to wonder who owns something. Why? Because according to Lissi, it's "Mine!"
3. There is nothing that can't be climbed or opened. Nothing.
4. My assistance with anything is no longer needed. She can do it herself.

However, there is the comic relief. Last night she wanted more soymilk, I said no. (Just no, not "NNNNNNo!") She threw her cup on the floor. I ignored it (I don't do tantrums.) She took 2 steps closer and threw it on the floor again. I ignored it. She picked it up and took 3 steps closer, pursed her little lips and threw it on the floor again really hard --- It bounced up and hit her head. She was so shocked and I could not stop laughing. (No injury and hugs given, but I couldn't stop laughing.)

Crazy Lady...The Summary

That's what I feel like lately. Do those you have been asking...No, we have not dropped off the planet (though that sounds like a nice vacation...), we have been incredibly busy. But, hey....is there any other kind of busy? Here's the run down....

--Christmas. School. Church. Big Families. 3 kids....'nuf said.

--Holy Homework, Batman. I think a "special project" has come home every week.
If a "special project" exists that frequently, is it really "special" anymore?

--Preschool -- Abrielle started a new preschool in January and it's awesome. It fits her personality and needs (and ours) much better than the home co-op we were doing. It's at the YMCA and we have evidence that she is getting a good, solid, Christian education. What evidence, you ask? Exhibit A: "A B C D E F G...Thank you God for feeding me. Amen"

--Alyssa is a toddler. Actually, that is a misnomer. She does not toddle...she runs....constantly.

--Bishopric -- Jason is still in the bishopric which means Sundays are no "day of rest." For him it's a day of meetings. For me, it's the UFC championships. Did I mention the magical opening hymns at our church? No matter what the selection, it has the power to make all children's previously empty bladders suddenly fill (at alternating rates, of course), make Ms. Regular, who always poops before 10, let loose again, and make it absolutely necessary to communicate with all of our friends no matter how many pews away they happen to be. Once Jason asked me how he did on his talk --- I didn't realize he had spoken......

--Office---Jason's firm is getting busier every day. Which is good. Unless you just want a day off with your husband and the darn "Crackberry" won't shut up. That's bad.

--Work -- Yes, I am working full time again. To preemptively answer all questions:
Yes, I did enjoy being a full time- stay-at-home mom.
Yes, I do love my kids.
Yes, Jason's business is doing well (see above).
No, I am not inactive in my church.
Yes, I do realize the logistical mayhem of
1 self-employed husband + 3 kids, + 2 church callings + full time job.
No, I have not lost my mind, yet.
Yes, I am tired of watching the student loan payments I send
not make a dent in the student loans.
No, I do not look forward to the making those payments for the next 25 years.
No, self-employed people do no get benefits, unless they pay for them in full themselves.
Yes, we havebeen praying about all of this.
Therefore--
Yes, when I was offered a job in which full-time is 30 hours/3 days a week
with full benefits and quite a bit of flexibility, I accepted.

and, yes, your prayers will be appreciated. Because I do realize that either I have,
or soon will, lose my mind.