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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Insomnia (Only Partially Voluntary)

I'm tired. Very tired. I am by the end of most days, but yet I still stay up late.

"Why don't I just go to bed?"

Here is why:
1. I can do whatever I want, plan, waste time on the computer, stare at
the ceiling....and no one is going to interrupt.
2. Because sometimes tomorrow is so busy, I don't want it to come and going to sleep
seems to be giving in, declaring that today is over, bringing tomorrow that much faster.
3. My brain has not stopped yet, therefore lying in bed would be pointless.
4. In our apartment, if you leave the door open to the kids room, you can usually see all
three kids, peacefully asleep from the couch. So beautiful. It makes my heart feel like
it's going to explode and melt at the same time. It's the only time of day they all hold
still long enough for me to just gaze at them.
4. Sshhhh....hear that? Yeah, I don't hear anything either.......Peace.......Aahhhhhhh.......

I know that in the morning I'll regret it. I know that the dark circles are becoming permanent and the concealer is not working as well anymore. I know it will take twice as long to drag myself out of bed to the gym (if I make it to the gym in the morning at all....)

But for right now....


renae nelson kingsley said...

No fun....Good luck! On the bright side, school will be out soon, so there'll be no more early mornings trying to pack lunches, dress kids, and rush out the door. Let me know if I can help with anything!

Irish Cream said...


I love having those 2-4 hours of time just to do what I want without interruptions. It ususally doesn't involve cleaning, and definitely requires a book or TV or something crafty.

Bill and Mel said...

I so get it. I love the quiet. I love the fact I can do what I want. And I often want to avoid the next day too! :)